These kinds of conversations are treasures for mothers--kept in a special box in her heart--a box dedicated solely to the memories labeled "keep forever". Those precious exchanges between mother and son/daughter can have the power to relax even the most tense shoulders on the most wildly chaotic and exhausting days.
I have observed a few things about these kinds of heart touching conversations with my own littles.
1-The conversations {mostly} only happen when I am completely and totally tuned in to them. Cuddling, snuggling, sitting, holding, rocking, creating, listening, focused, eye-to-eye contact. I hate the distractions that take me away from more of this quality time...some distractions are necessary and good (driving, chores, necessary To -Do's, fulfilling needs, doing projects, preparing for events, etc) and some are fluff. I am constantly fighting my oft self-defeating attachment to the fluff.
2-The comments can be profound. Sometimes my children say things to me {or ask questions} that prompt me to dig a little deeper, respond a little wiser than I actually am--thus pulling me forward in my progression of self. They become the teachers and I the learner. Their straight forward thinking, energy of interest, and purity of spirit can instruct our conditioned adult minds, which I have discovered can be wonderfully enlightening and freeing.
3-No matter how beautiful, thought provoking (or awesomely silly!) the statement/conversation/question, I will not remember it if I do not write it down. This, I know for sure. I try to regularly write in my journal, and I have a stack of papers filled with things my children say to me--the funny, the wise, the questions, the mispronunciations, the ideas, all of it. Well, all of it that I remember to write down. Usually, I quickly scribble it on the white board and then transfer to paper. Those pages of handwritten pieces of love are treasures to me.
I am holding onto one from two days ago that I need to record:
I explained that while I didn't really want Daddy to fall in love with someone else, I was confident he will find a beautiful person with whom he will fall in love and be very happy. He then asked "will I have to live in a state far away from you?"
J-running away from me on our Sunday evening walk-2 days ago |
J & I: first day of school (5 years old) |
And, even when he has fallen in love with his future sweetheart {and lives in a state for away from me} he'll still be the baby I fell in love with first-- my baby J.
Mama & Baby J (2 months old?) |
*Three out of four of us--my mother's babies--live far away. I live almost 1,000 miles northwest-ish of my parents, my brother to the east lives over 1,000 miles away...and that sweet brother whose child-self dreamt of living next door? He lives the farthest (ever wonder farthest vs furthest? I did.) away of all of us (2,520 miles, to be exact--37 hours). That said, one of my brothers does live pretty close. As close as you can get, really.
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Every day in November! NaBloPoMo: National Blog Posting Month. Write a post on your blog every day in November. For the 3rd year, I've decided to tackle this challenge & enjoy the opportunity to switch to writing mode. Want to join me? Leave your blog link in the comments so I can follow you too!
4 comments:
True. Right off the kitchen is pretty close! And yes...you all live SO FAR AWAY! But you know...we are so blessed with the technology to be in each others lives and faces ( thanks SKYPE!) and I love this post! All so true, to tender, so sweet. LOVE IT!
Those are wonderful thoughts, wonderful stories, and you're such a wonderful writer!
This post made me miss my little kids. They do say the most wonderful little things.
I agree! It's a pleasure to have a clear agenda just to talk the way they want to talk and listen to what they are thinking about. For my boys it takes a good series of questions to get them to loosen up and really talk about what they are thinking.
Most of the time, I think we are busy busy that they don't get to express their observations (more metaphysical than actual sensory). Good on you for pausing to record!
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