About six months ago, we became aware that Miss N had not been gaining weight. After a month or so of monitoring her intake and weight, our pediatrician at the time strongly suggested that we have blood work done to rule out possible causes.
Thankfully, the tests came back negative. After some serious work building up my milk supply and adding calorie-rich solid foods into her diet our baby girl chunked right up. We were so grateful to move past those weeks of worry.
There was one piece of the experience I could not easily move past, however. I try not to be easily offended and I cannot clearly recall any time I have never written a very specific letter of complaint. This situation had upset me so much, I knew I could not let it go without making a statement.
This is what I wrote (and sent!) :
Dear ------------------:
I am writing you today to
express my concerns regarding the language used by one of your staff members
last week. I was visiting the lab to have some blood work done for my child.
It was my first visit to the hospital and we were greeted pleasantly at the
triage area before being directed down the hallway to the lab waiting room. While
I waited for our turn (which didn’t bother me at all), my attention was drawn
to an agitated tone being used by the lab employees at the desk window.
I was surprised that
their voices were so loud, given the nature of the waiting room set up, and so
many visitors of the lab in earshot. At one point the employee was
particularly frustrated and exclaimed, “This is retarded!” I whisked around
immediately—shocked to have heard such an offensive choice in words from
someone working in this environment. I noted who it was and thought maybe I
would speak with her about how that word can make someone feel and the
inappropriateness of its use ever in that way. As I stood there
wondering if and how I would approach her, she also chose to use another foul
language term to express her annoyance with the situation with which she was
dealing.
I understand that some
days are harder than others and that there are difficult challenges in any
work place. However, I am appalled and greatly disappointed that your lab
employee (who also ended up doing the blood work for my child) would be so
thoughtless with her language. Not only is the lab a professional environment,
but also the facility is in the business of serving children—often children
with disabilities—to whom the use of the word “retarded” is extra offensive.
This word should not be used to describe a person, much less to use as a slang
term to express irritation.
My purpose in writing you
is to let you know of my concern and to open a dialogue within your staff to eliminate
these kinds of words from your work place vocabulary (and hopefully elsewhere
as well!). Thankfully, we live in a
time of awareness when we can change the way people around us feel, just by
changing one word.
In the moment, I considered confronting the nurse in question as it was happening. I am not very good in those kinds of situations and I was emotionally charged. I did not want to misstep or have that same nurse poking on my daughter if I were to offend her by sharing the offense she had made.
Having a sibling with a disability, perhaps my ears are fine tuned to notice such words used thoughtlessly in this context. Still, it was in a children's hospital--a professional environment, within earshot of anyone...and we are living in 2012, people! I like to think we (as a people) are more sensitive to people with disabilities and have eliminated such words from our casual and slang vocabulary.
Though it was a first for me, I am glad I wrote the letter. I hope it made a difference, if only for the director on whose desk it arrived.
Every day in November! NaBloPoMo: National Blog Posting Month. Write a post on your blog every day in November. Since last year didn't kill me, I've decided to do it again this year. Do you want to join me? My brother will be writing daily overHERE and my sis-in-law's posts will be found HERE.
Every day in November! NaBloPoMo: National Blog Posting Month. Write a post on your blog every day in November. Since last year didn't kill me, I've decided to do it again this year. Do you want to join me? My brother will be writing daily overHERE and my sis-in-law's posts will be found HERE.
5 comments:
Good for you! I think it's great you wrote and sent that letter. I hope it makes an impression and a difference.
I am so proud of you! I sort of thought you might get a letter in return....I gather...not.
I have had so many experiences like that and it IS hard to know what to do. You wrote a thoughtful letter.
I'm sorry. Really. That's awful. Thank you for taking a stand.
Wow. Just wow. Way to stand up. I hope the nurse will forever be more considerate of others and watch her mouth!
I'm also curious as to HOW you built up your milk supply and how you got little miss N to chunk up. What kinds of calorie-rich foods are you feeding her? The best I know is avacado??
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