In fact, I feel like I just starred in a movie.
Have you had a "movie moment" like this one??
Not a glamorous role, mind you...here's how it played out:
I felt very brave and adventurous as I let The Boy feed himself his breakfast with a spoon--an option he's never really been given before today. He was giddy to try it out and intrigued by the concept of hand-eye coordination in order for that yummy goodness to reach his lips.
Of course, by the end of the bowl, he was COVERED in oatmeal (#1 reason we haven't delved into this experience before now). I was pleased and felt liberated by my own "let him do it" attitude, not worrying about the mess I'd be cleaning up later. He was so proud of himself, and I was proud of him! He did great...but now it was time for a bath.
Giving J a bath, I broke rule #362 of parenthood: I stepped out to grab something. Breaking that rule probably negates all of the "cool mom" points I got for letting him feed himself breakfast. Within seconds, I heard him whining a "Mom come save me" kind of cry...I rushed back into the bathroom (only steps away) to find him pinned up to the corner--practically on his tippie toes, freaking out about something at the bottom of the tub.
What is it you ask?
POOP.
Plenty of it. Some floating, some not.
I am in total shock, I can barely move, I keep staring at the poo. J looks at me like "stop staring at the thing, Mama, GET ME OUTA HERE!"--he really didn't like being in poopy water.
I pull him out, make sure he's "clean" enough, quickly babyproof the bathroom (where else can i keep him while I'm cleaning up??) and let him walk around the bathroom while I formulate a plan of action.
First I took the solid chunks & placed them in a plastic bag...(why? I don't know, I was running on crazy shocked energy), quickly disposed of the plastic bag outside in the poopie diaper trash can.
Back in the bathroom I find he has taken items from the trashcan & thrown them into the now-drained but still poopie tub.
YUCK.
Quickly disposed of the now dirtier trash...put the trash can on the counter, and went to the laundry room for some high power cleaner to get the tub in working order.
Back in the bathroom, guess what?
A couple of new "gifts" left by J--ON THE RUG by the tub.
A couple of new "gifts" left by J--ON THE RUG by the tub.
No way. I couldn't believe it! I kind of stared in disbelief and then when I came to my senses cleaned the naked J up with wipes...then rolled it all up in the rug & stuffed it into the trash can.
Wow.
Ok, back to cleaning the tub. I sprayed it all down with cleaner, then washed it out. Onto round two--I sprayed it down again (can't get it too clean, now, can we??) and look over to see J PEEING ON THE OTHER RUG.
At this point I can't help it, I started to laugh. THIS WAS UNBELIEVABLE. Seriously?
Rolled up rug #2, into the trashcan and wiped the floor up...still trying to finish the TUB so I can really clean that boy up (still had oatmeal on his face, even!)...
Last cleaning, last rinsing--yay!
With the tub shiny & clean (and feeling proud of myself for surviving such an ordeal, grateful it all took place in an easy-to-clean bathroom) look around the corner to realize that he had OPENED the door, WALKED out, and was now PEEING ON THE CARPET IN THE HALLWAY.
NO WAY.
NOT HAPPENING.
NOT HAPPENING.
THIS IS A DREAM.
Except it wasn't.
And I stopped laughing.
I glanced over at the shiny clean tub. In the corner was a rubber duckie. His beak was open and his eyes were wide with laughter. HE was laughing at me.
And, in all likelyhood, you probably are as well.
Honestly?
I thought these things only happened in the movies.
Have you had a "movie moment" like this one??
10 comments:
AAGHHHH! That's a great scene! Only, this time do it with more vigor. Take two, roll em!
Just kidding. But, I am glad you got to experience something like this. Actually, that was the impetus for putting Ian on the potty so early. He was 4 months old, reclined in the tub when we experienced similar trauma. I scooped Ian out and perched him over the potty to make sure he was finished. To my surprise, he finished his business on the potty. As a 4 month old. And he's pooped on the potty ever since.
I can think of a few "made-for-movie" mishaps. Last winter I was hiking an icy trail with Ian on my shoulders. I hit a slick spot and with a thud went flat backwards, arms flailing. We were both caught off guard and both a little bruised (and the boy scared silly), but due to the winter, our extra clothing padded our fall. Another time in the spring I was clambering up an incline with loose leaves and dirt, and Ian went forward and I landed on top of him, both of us on our stomachs. I guess mine barely count since mine end after the first incident. :)
Mae and I had a morning like this--but she had a diaper rash, we were late to her dr's appointment (which was the reason for the bath anyway--i knew they'd check it out), and she just kept doing her business EVERYWHERE. i finally got it all together and ran out the door. when i got home, i found my cereal still sitting on the counter. i never got my breakfast!
Don't feel bad you are not the only one that has happened to! Be glad you were the older cousin. You know the baby bed you slept in at Grandmama's and Granddaddy's with the wire. Rachel took off her diaper and put poop in between the wires. Yes, we had to use a toothbrush to clean it out. Luke would poop in the tub quite often. I love reading the stories of Jackson. Mother and Daddy would have loved playing with him.
Ok - yes I was laughing hysterically reading this but rest assured, I was not laughing AT you...I was laughing WITH you. Though I think you stopped laughing before I did.
And on a completely different note - PAM!!!!! HI! Was so happy to see you on the comment thread - it's been so long - like I think my wedding 14 years ago!!! How do I get in touch with you?
And back to the poop - I vaguely remember Rachel and Shane having to be bathed in a McDonald's sink near Butler State Park after experiencing a double blow out. I think it was our last morning all together for our family reunion. There are much better memories than this particular one but since we were on the subject of poop....hey, you started it!
Oh yeah - are you buying new bathroom rugs? I would!
Sounds like this is a sort of "right of passage" in motherhood...thanks for sharing the laugh with me. I'm still amazed at the whole situation.
Lesson Learned #1: Don't leave the babe when he's in the tub (duh!)
Lesson Learned #2: If I have to take him out of the tub for ANY REASON--must put diaper on him. that would have prevented accident 2,3, & 4.
*sigh*
YES I bought new rugs tonight at TJMaxx! They are POO-FREE RUGS! YAY!!!! :)
And, Pam--thanks for the comment, it's been so long! I agree--Grandmama & Granddaddy would have LOVED getting to know our little J! I miss them lots!
Oh you KNOW I've had those days, girl! Mine usually involve public humiliation as you might recall, but being a parent is never dull! :) I'm very proud of you in how you handled (I'm sorry -- I HAVE to say it!) *your duty*. Uh, Jackson's "duty". Oh, yes, I'm on a roll today!!!! C'mon, say it out loud! It's funny! Yes, I've officially adopted Aiden's 10 year old sense of humor . . . I have to ask, though, did Trevor re-clean the bathroom when he got home? ;) If it makes you feel any better, another friend of mine heard her son in his room, apparently just waking up, babbling happily -- as she approached his room to take him out of his crib, though, she smelled something . . . When she entered his room, there he stood, one hand on the crib rail, the other hand gripping his now-empty diaper. Apparently, he had been practicing his lasso skills and had swung his poop-filled diaper round and round until the walls were covered in his personal redecoration. "Good morning, Mom!!" WOW.
Love you! Susan
That is an awesome story. How come stories about poop are so funny, even to a grown-up?
I have found that the best way to get that poop out of the bathtub is to get a old cup (that you will be throwing away) and use it to scoop out the poop. Like you are going after a goldfish. Then you put it in the TOILET. That is where it belongs, silly! You are very lucky that J was scared of it and did not decide to play with it.
The grossest poop experience I've had is when I was a nursery leader and one of the little girls, without my noticing, started digging into her diaper and bringing out... Crap is the worst, but when it is not even your own kid. Uh.
Tonight I was cleaning the bathroom while Chummy was happily playing in the bath. Right after I finished the toilet I looked over and what do you know? You guessed it! You know what they say... it happens.
Needless to say, right when I saw the poop I thought of YOU!!
Yes, this is a right of passage. I guess this was your son and your house but as I read it I saw it so clearly in my bathroom at my house.
Jenny's sister-in-law give those little fish net bowl scooper cleaners (you know the little square green ones that you can clean out the tank or remove the dead fish with) at baby showers.
And did you just want new rugs? Has your son never got poop on his clothes and then washed them? Great excuse though.
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