"I Just Saw A Fly"--An excerpt from my afternoon experience {Also-my conflicted heart}

{From my afternoon journal-as-I-experience}

August 28, 2013 Wednesday

4:18pm Jackson & Nathan are doing a dexterity craft--placing oatmeal flakes along a line with glue (to make a star)--Jackson is showing Nathan how to place them, what to do with extra glue on your finger (spread on paper), and how to spread the glue carefully. They are pouring their oats slowly on a plate and using them from there. Jackson says “don’t hold the glue...when I need some more, put it back”.

As they are crafting, I take a few photos. Jackson says “I’m doing a great job!” and I affirm it. Nathan says “me too!” I say yes you too! Jackson exclaims that raw oatmeal is delicious too! Nathan tries some and continues to nibble while Jackson makes good progress. Jackson asks me to come look, I do and compliment him. Nathan said “I not doing a good job. I eating it.” I tell him his star looks great and to keep going. Jackson follows up with an affirming “you’re doing an awesome job, Nathan.”

They keep working and Jackson says--“I dreamed I was in a huge car wreck. And the light went in a big circle up to the sky. So we drove our car into a truck. We didn’t get a wreck. Does wrecks hurt when they get on your car? When they come inside? A lightning wreck? We were like “there’s a wreck!” (whisper voice) and I walked around the corner and said “Hi there” to the man talking to someone else.”

My heart is pounding. My eyes are wide, trying to soak in the view of their little hands and focused faces. My ears take in every grunt of concentrated effort and sigh of trying-again. I am blessed to experience this natural learning/discovering/sharing environment AT HOME TOGETHER. Jackson is diligent in following the star lines perfectly, but has learned also how to praise his little brother (even if it isn’t perfect). He schools him “no more glue until your line is done...ok...that’s enough...keep going”. His tutelage is well received. “Now look a-mine star, Mom!” “We need moe!”

J interjects: “I just saw a fly. I didn’t want him to land on the glue and get stuck forever. I don’t want to have a sad bug. Do you want to have a sad bug in the world?”

THIS.

THIS is why I am aching to send my five year old to school all day (8:30am-4pm) I will miss THIS.

TRULY, I am so glad to have an accessible Montessori option (read: charter public/further read: free). It’s tiny doors, little “works” and child-centered environments make my heart sing. The trained ‘guides’ with their soft voices and involved, encouraging interaction will have far-reaching effects in the children’s learning, responses, and expansion of learning. I have been convinced of the benefits of this kind of education. Child-guided. Positive reinforced. Tactile-activity centered. One-on-one moments.

BUT.

They can never love them like I do.

And I can DO this thing (I think?). Our home is the original Montessori, right? In a way. In many ways. I don't have all the working mats or mini-glass cups or peg boards. I do have a drive to teach, enrich, inspire, and follow my children's lead through discoveries and academic/social/spiritual/all-things learning.

This is my struggle. I have been working through it for the last 6 months or so since we found out his acceptance to the Montessori school (and also registered him at a regular public as well--just to keep my options open). I read and researched. I questioned and pondered. I formed opinions of my own.

My heart is conflicted. THIS is our environment. THESE are our works. THOSE are my babies and our ecosystem of familial fun and learning is the most joyous experience in my life thus far. Must I give it up now?

Update on the oat project--”Mom! My star is done! I will carry it carefully to dry. Let’s do another one!” Yes, yes--let’s!

30 minutes later--still munching on the craft in between making his straight lines: "Does paleontologists bring food when they are doing a really hard work job?"

P.S. Today was day 1 of the 3 "phase in" 2-hour days at Montessori school. Official first start day is September 3rd (6 days from now). This is J as we left today (clementine in hand). Notice the small door--all the Montessori stuff is geared toward their small size...adorable! He told me all about the "working mats" (he learned the special way to fold them and that you do not put your feet or body on them, only 'works'), the pet fish, pet bird, pet tarantula, & pet dragon (lizard). 

Bang!

I have my Dad's hair.

 It is is straight, fine,

 low maintenance hair (besides the oil factor)

for which I am grateful.

Though you could catch me looking with envy at a head full of voluminous curls on any given occasion.

Still, though--I find it difficult to find a good match for hair stylist--someone who listens to what I am really saying(not just cutting my hair to match their style), who gives good advice/input (but not too pushy), and within a reasonable cost.

My stylist from last year was amazing but her (already high) prices went up, so decided I needed to move on. I went to a super fancy salon and had a great experience with a student (nice, budget-friendly option!)--but I decided the drive to uptown & paying for parking wasn't worth it. My next attempt was at a little rinky dinky place and it was ok but I was not pleased with the bang trim.  

Side note:  I get my bangs cut and then let them go as long as I can stand them. Then I start to pull them back with creative clips and styles until I cannot go any longer--then I finally make my appointment for a hair trim & bang cut.

After that lackluster experience,

I went to the only place I could think of:

the ever-growing wisdom of youtube tutorials.

I found several and spent some time watching their snipping tips. With a few little upward pruning motions, I fixed my bangs. I've let them get shaggy since then and finally had enough. 

Yesterday, for the first time since I was 15 

(at DisneyWorld I made the infuriating mistake of cutting above my fingers instead of below them),

 I cut my own bangs.

Since I'm wearing them thicker with a choppy/ pieced out look--they don't have to be perfect. I'm looking forward to more time between salon visits and a more consistently maintained forehead. 

Open Wide!

I remember going to the dentist (every 6 months or so) as a kid/teenager. I can still visualize walking through the sunroom/greenhouse entrance and into the lobby of their downtown Winchester establishment. There was a large fish tank in the waiting area and lots of books and magazines piled on the side tables.

I remember there were lots of files in alphabetic order on the shelves behind the receptionists (I always thought their job was cool) and when it was my turn, I was excited to lay down in the chair and look up at some picture on the ceiling. More often than not, the hygienist was one of my elementary school friend's aunt. It was fun to catch up with her and how their family was doing. 

I felt pretty special with the option of choosing a flavor for the teeth cleaner (maybe 3 options?) but I did NOT like the gritty feeling of the stuff. The mini shopvac-for-your-mouth was helpful at best, but I always felt awkward when it got stuck sucking on the inside of my cheek. After the cleaning, the very nice dentist would come review my stats and we would discuss needs if there were any. I almost always left with a something new on my hand...a new ring!

Sometime after we moved to Tullahoma, we started seeing a new dentist (and family friend) who was always jovial, gentle, and kind. He is the one I remember pointing out that two of my teeth are turned 180' (and attempt was made to turn one/both? but it didn't work) and that I still had two baby teeth. At one point, I decided that I did not like the gap in my two front teeth so I had braces put on those two (just those two!)--I have photos to prove it.

The orthodontist was in Huntsville & was the third dental facility with which I became familiar. After the braces were taken off, my teeth shifted apart again...my two side teeth were just not large enough to keep the two fronts together. At that point, composite of some sort was added to those smaller teeth, and my gap was greatly diminished. On visits home from college I would have teeth cleanings at the old Winchester office or stop by our friend's office if I had concerns in between.

 I took a little break from professional cleanings and screenings until Mr. H & I received dental coverage (and there was much rejoicing!)...and since then I have been to three different offices. Mostly the same routine--they make a remark about my baby teeth, 180 degree teeth, repair any cavities, and touch up for my two smallies with fake tooth around them. I am usually in and out with little conversation with either hygienist or the DDS.

I took  my boys to their first dental visit last month and it was a hit! You would not believe the flavor options they have for cleaning now! The kids got new toothbrushes, a bag of loot, and stickers! They were thrilled. J was fabulously patient, I was so proud of him. N--well. He's two year old--enough said.

TODAY I had MY first dental visit at a new place! I was nervous since it had been awhile and wasn't sure the status of my pearly whites. I walked in a few minutes late (sometimes my GPS does NOT mean I arrive more efficiently!) and was greeted with a smile, handshake, correct pronunciation of my name, and complimentary bottle of water. I was impressed with the calm, welcoming environment (soft lights, beautiful decor) and friendly staff. I sat down and within a few minutes, the hygienist came to get me (as in: came into the lobby to greet me and take me back, as opposed to calling my name out with the door balancing on her hip), calling me by name. 

Rita introduced herself and took me on a tour of their exam rooms (including the view of the pond), offices, and finally ending up in a little conference room with a little round table and four chairs. Rita told me that the Dr. liked to get to know her clients first and she would be joining me shortly. Really? A face-to-face (not with my mouth wide open) visit with the dentist?

After a few minutes, we were on first name basis and we were like old friends...her husband was from Chicago, she currently lives in one of my favorite cities around here, and she could relate to my busy schedule with a husband whose job requires frequent travel. After our getting-to-know-you chat, Rita took care of a few radiographs, photos, and evaluations before my new dentist friend joined us to do a cancer screening, gum disease screening, and discuss the needs of my smile.

Before I knew it, I was heading out the door with a little box with green ribbon around it and a note that said "Thank You". I felt pampered, appreciated, and special. It was like a spa day...complimentary water upon entering (also an offering of water/coffee as I was leaving)...personal attention, low lights, calm voices, gentle massages on my neck...

Ok. No massages on my neck.

But seriously. I'm so glad I have a filling that needs repair and a stain on my composite-covered tooth so I can go back and hang out with my best friends and feel pampered for an hour or so!

Our First TrickerTreat & My First Attempt At NaBloPoMo

October went out with a bang...a big bang of chocolate, that is. 

Last night was Halloween; one of many that I have dressed up in sparkles of last-minute ideas, one of a few that the Mr. & I have dressed little wiggling bodies in themed attire--snapping photos all along the way--and the very FIRST one for us to actually partake in the house-hopping ritual with our offspring.

Trick or Treat?

We practiced after nap time and before we left for dinner. First you say "Trick or Treat" and then you say "Thank You." Over and over again...until he got it. He ended up blending the sounds into "Tricker Treat" but it didn't matter much, it sounded the same and got the job done quickly and efficiently.

With little friends happy squeals and the perfect All Hallows Eve weather (complete with a shining moon & brighter than bright stars), we crisscrossed the neighborhood streets. Two babes in a stroller, two princesses, and two Thomas the Trains...accompanied, of course, by three sets of parents.

From front porch to front porch, little voices excitedly recited their phrase...sometimes needing reminded of the gratitude portion...always walking away with a smile from ear to ear. Memories of Halloweens past haunted our thoughts and stories were shared. I remember donning homemade costumes with my brothers and the enchantment of the various fall festivities we enjoyed together. I have visions of making my children's costumes someday...for now, thrift stores & borrowing from friends has worked quite nicely.

Some houses were decorated with lights, some with ghosts & goblins...one with a completed haunted house to get your sweet treat. Our Thomas the Train declined that offer (so did I, I can't blame him one bit...it looked scary), but was eager to take up one neighbor gentleman offering "Mike's Hard Lemonade" to the parents passing by.

J: "Mom, I want some lemonade!"
Me: "Umm...no, that lemonade is not for you, we can make some lemonade at home."
J: "But, Mom...the guy is giving it to me!"

A generous offering, no doubt. He got a candy bar instead.

The bag was so heavy by the end, that it was difficult for the little engine to carry...what a bag of loot! After warming up with hot apple cider at our friends' house, we headed home with two goals in mind: 1) kids in bed, and 2) go through that stash! The boys were tired and more than willing to change into cozy pajamas and snuggle under their blankets. We quietly emptied the bag of sweets onto the counter, took a photo (for posterity, of course), and then cleared out the items with peanuts or that "may have been processed near peanuts"--just to be safe. We also took out the more teeth-destroying candies (laffy taffy isn't so fun when it costs a fortune to fix teeth!), and then swept the rest of his goodies (still quite the stash!) into his bag.

We put on our pajamas, straightened the house and reveled in the most comedic moments of the night. We marveled at our very first Trick-or-Treating experience with our children, feeling like we are entering a new kind of parenthood. We wondered if our parents went through our buckets of candies and if there was really that much chocolate in our childhood Halloween stash.

Before crawling into bed, we peeked in at each of our sleeping boys...their faces turn into angels when they sleep, you know? No costume required...toddler tricks and cuddly treats...those are the sweetest of all. 






NaBloPoMo: National Blog Posting Month. Write a post on your blog every day in November. This year, I've decided to do it. Do you want to join me? My brother will be writing daily over HERE and my sis-in-law's posts will be found HERE.