Tchau for Now Facebook {1 month mark}

Well...my facebook fast began

 11 days into the New Year

(there wasn't anything magical about that day, it was just the day I finally made a decision)

...today we sit squarely on February 11th.

One month later.

I have to admit, when Mr. H suggested I stay off of the big f

for one full month, I was not convinced I could do it.

I had become accustomed to checking FB first thing in the morning on my phone, 

throughout my day on my phone/ipad/desktop...

--whether at home or out & about--

those tags, updates, requests, & messages

called my name.

I couldn't wait to see the comments 

when I posted a new photo of my day

and somehow the need for that world to shower me with affirmations overshadowed 

some of the littlest needs of my real world.

my three monkeys--last night in our kitchen         02.10.13

I've had lots of questions over the last 4 weeks...

so, here's a Q&A for ya:

Q: Why did you deactivate your account?
A: To de-clutter my life, my mind, and my spirit--to create space & time for the requests, comments, & moments in my own family.

Q: How long are you going to be off of fb?
A: Originally, I had no definite timeline. (ha--timeline) Mr. H suggested 1 month, so here we are 1 month later. Now...I have to decide. I think I'll stay off for a bit longer...

Q: Have you finished many big projects since you are saving more time?
A: I have done a few extra things but mostly I have enjoyed a more balanced sense of being without the extra distraction and *need* to see the updates & such. I have made a more concerted effort to be a more present parent and enJOY more of my daily adventures.

Q: What do you miss the most about fb?
A: Seeing friends photos, sharing ideas & uplifting/helpful advice/links & feeling connected!

Over the last month

I have updated my blogs more regularly, 

typed more journal entries, and felt more freedom from being tethered to social networking.

 This article is an insightful read for anyone 

wondering {Moms, in particular} if their online devotion is

become too consuming of their time. Thanks to Kendra--my friend who initially gave me the most fuss about deactivating but who now has deactivated her FB account as well--for sending me the article. 

I guess I need to make another goal for how much longer

to stay on 'deactivated' status

I do love it for the good things it brings to my day

and the ease of connection

and spreading the word 

(my blog readership is significantly lower without the news-spreading through FB!)

Maybe 'till my birthday, then?

We shall see. 

Tchau for now.

Side note: I did re-activate my account today, 

since I made it to 1 month. 

It was good to see familiar smiles, check up on a few stories, 

& most especially: drool over photos of my newest nephew, Mr. G! 

I spent some time deleting friends that I don't need on my list--

not that we're NOT friends but de-cluttering that list 

is an important part for me if I'm going to re-activate my account.

 Mr. H said I will make people upset/offended by deleting friends.

It was easier to do now that I've been off for awhile, 

and I figure they might not notice since I 

de-activated again after I finished the task 

(I'm over 100 "friends" lighter now!)

I don't want a clogged up news feed,

and I need FB to be what I want it to be...not what others expect of me, right? 

"Tchau for Now" Review {Facebook Fast: 18 days}

It's almost been three weeks

since I deactivated my facebook account.

I told Mr. H & he said

"really? only three weeks?"

I agree--it feels like

2 months...3 months?

Mr. H gives me random updates

from his logged-on perch

his cousin's bridal shower,

a friend's father passed away,

someone's birthday reminder,

someone else's cute baby photo,

weather updates from around the country, 

news or advice articles shared

Some of these I really do want to know about

and those are the ones I am missing most.

The updates that a friend needs an extra prayer or comforting word. The photo that makes me smile and add a little comment. The request for help or advice or the shared article of uplift and hope or a cause worth sharing. 

I no longer search for my FB app icon on my phone,

and I've found other was to get in touch with people.

I do sometimes take photos on my phone with the intent share...but then realize I can't instantly upload them to the sharing-est place of all...so I send them to Mr. H's phone instead.

Photo I took of myself to send to the Mr.
when he was out of town...might have made it on FB.

Boys helping wash sweet potatoes--most definitely would have made it on Instagram/FB.

Miss N's little piggie tales--might have made in on FB

Below is a prime example of a photo I took with the purpose of sharing and commenting.
Since I won't be posting it on FB, I'll share here:

Beach towels & chairs at the front entrance at Costco--in Minnesota--during one of the coldest winters in years:

At Costco on an 8 degree afternoon---really? 

All in all, I think the goal of being more PRESENT is going well. I am finding a balance with time that is more consistent with who I am trying to become and tasks I am wanting to complete. I have not finished any major projects, nor tackled a super cool pinterest craft...but I have less clutter in my mind and I am less attached to the endless stream of updates. 
It feels good.



Status updates that might have been posted over the last week:

-J just told me he wants his stuffed ferret to be at his wedding, holding a sparkler
-Chiro update: my leg is shorter AND my shoulders are lopsided in addition to a mild case of scoliosis.
-Showing your kids how to catch snowflakes with their tongue=awesome
-Time for turbo tax!
-Eating super healthy during the winter is not for me--must.bake.cookies.
-Turned our New Years tree into a Valentine's tree. Don't judge.
-Nothing better than coming in from running errands on a cold day to find your house clean, warm, and three little pajama-clad darlings all smiling and screaming "Mama!Mama!Mama!"

And from last night:
-The stomach flu (we assume is the culprit?) has inducted into real life parenting--4 changed bedding/outfits & baths/showers between the hours of 1am-4am...all from one little person.

"Tchau For Now" Review {4 days without FB}

So, it's been 4 days

and I'm reporting in.

You FB friends, have you missed me?

My rampant "likes" and hourly comments...

My emailing and texting have gone up 

slightly

but overall, I am much less attached to my screens

and it is absolutely liberating.

The first 24 hours was fascinating. 

It was like watching an experiment unfold--as I caught myself tapping on my FB app, expecting instant information--only to come up with nothing and remember my deactivated status.

I wondered what I was missing

and received a small trickle of slow-moving information 

from Mr. H's random news reports 

that I would have otherwise already known and commented on!

(ex: my dear friend & mission companion had her third baby, & my sis-in-law was in a singing competition for America's Got Talent--headed to the next round, I think?) 

In a strange way, I felt like I was walking away 

from my own world

a world I had created by adding friends (too many?)

adding "likes" to my interests

and blocking every.single.one. of those blasted game invites.

Mr. H came home from his week in Colorado 

not really surprised with my deactivation.

(really, I've been talking about deleting for years)

My  mother was under the impression that I was deleting it forever

and was surprised when I said I'd be back on at some point.

Mr. H suggested a one month absence, 

so that's what I'm going for.

In the first two days, I was asked two questions about things either I had posted or that others had posted--information I needed and would be easily, quickly retrieved from my facebook. 

Gah. I would have to correspond by emails.

01.16.13 Miss N, adorably smooshing her drippy nose on the plexiglass gate 

By day three, I needed to get in touch with a couple of people--my primary mode of communication with which has always been facebook. I felt a little bit annoyed with the inconvenience. 

There have been many moments where my first thought has been to post the thought/funny story/question/request/ photo/idea/link on facebook. This experience has been alarming to take note of. I am realizing just how addicted I had become to the instant feedback (affirmations, comments, compliments, correspondence, camaraderie)  that facebook can provide.

I don't have very many alerts

 on my phone anymore

which means by day 4, I look at it a lot less.

I have read more children's books, noticed more new words come out of N's little mouth, put together more puzzles, sang more songs, danced more silly dances with J, paid more attention to my Mr.,  taken more candid photos with my camera (instead of with my phone), and best of all--I have looked into my children's eyes MORE. It's not that I wasn't doing any of those things before...just now I am doing them more consciously. I am trying to be more present in my parenting, wifery and in my own be-ing. I put this sign up in my hallway--it is a wonderful reminder to me. 

My Mom told me about a seeing an interview recently with a woman who wrote a book about going without make up for a year. She suggested I write one about going off facebook 

for a year. I don't know about going off for an entire year...

...but this is me 

reporting in from the first four days

of my facebook fast.

Tchau for now!

Status lines I might have written over the last 4 days:

"Just saw a man in (in his 50's) out jogging on our street. It is -4 degrees."

"There is something ironic about the day you deactivate your facebook account corresponding directly with the first time your husband has updated his status from on a business trip--EVER."

"Welcome back to my heart, Downton"

"From my 4 year old: "You look SO handsome, Mama. Mostly like a princess."

"Going to Church by myself was equal parts lonely (missed my kiddos--home sick w/Daddy) and uplifting (I heard every single word of the inspiring talks/lessons)"

"First chiropractor adjustment. Apparently one of my legs is longer than the other."


Photos I might have posted over the last 4 days:

-All three in fleecy pajamas cuddled around Daddy on the couch reading "Goodnight Moon"

-Miss N with her hair all spiked after bath time

-Little hands working puzzles

-Miss N getting into drawers, pulling EVERYTHING out

-N showing off his made nose-blowing skillz

-J showing off his head standing skillz

-my arms cuddling sick little ones

Interesting side note:

You can either delete your account or deactivate it. When you delete your FB account, everything is gone--forever. If you decided to come back, you would have to start over again. If you deactivate your account, whenever you decide to log in again (same username & password), everything will be as it was when you deactivated. I thought it was funny that when I deactivated, the screen showed photos of my FB friends and saying "So-and-so will miss you if you deactivate"  by all of their names. Also some convincing line about not deactivating...and then to list a reason why. I said, "I am going on a facebook fast" and checked the box that said something to the affect of "I'll be back again later".

Tchau for Now {Deactivating my FB account}

We're 11 days into the New Year 

and I have an armful of bright new goals 

(let's face it, I end up recycling most of my New Year's Resolutions) 

that are staring me in the face.

I absolutely love the fresh start of a New Year

and the glowing hope of dreams that are at the end of a full page of scribbled out goals.

I started a new fitness challenge on Tuesday

(slow time getting into it...with 3 sick kids and the Mr. on the road...not a banner week for me)

which is good.  New goals. New focus. 

New dreams that are pushed to reality with deadlines.

Deadlines are helpful tools for goal-setting

because they help motivate us balance and manage our 

TIME.

We waste use our time, one little minute at a time--but those collective minutes are all used up by the time day is done and sometimes often I have no idea what I really accomplished. (Although admittedly, some days the most important things are having 

happy, clothed, fed children and I think I've got that down)

I think this is probably quite normal

(maybe especially for Moms of little ones?)

but I have been keeping track of the various baskets to which I am tossing my time and realizing I need to make some changes

in order to really find that

balance.

The balance that will help me push through the busy days to find focus,  reach my goals,

truly be a manager of my time (and my family's), 

and live this year to the fullest.

One of those baskets

that I have been wasting many (too many!) minutes

is on facebook.

Like many of you, I joined facebook back in the early days of the thing when you had to have a university email and invitation to join. I logged on at work but that was it.

 It has been a great tool for finding old friends, keeping up with family, sharing stories, receiving and offering encouragement, promoting my photography, becoming informed, connecting with new friends (in every new city we've moved to!), sharing snippets of my adventures, connecting through links,

 and sharing in the online community.

Now, though--instead of just logging on at work--

FB is on all of our devices (desktop, laptop, ipad, phones)

and I've become too dependent on it's constant stream 

and less in control of my own time.

This morning I decided I needed a break.

I will begin my official "facebook fast" tonight

unsure of how long it will last, 

but looking forward to filling that time with 

more focused mothering (less "liking"), more crafting (less pinning), more in-the-moment living (less "instagraming"), 

and a more focused energy on my armful of goals. 

Bring it on!

This is the note I posted to my FB friends:

Hi FB friends,

I will be taking a leave of absence from facebook for an undetermined amount of time (maybe I can last longer than a week without it!). With the freshness of the New Year, I have found myself requiring some changes to achieve specific goals. Like my need to declutter my house, I need to declutter my TIME as well.

If you know me at all--you know that I truly enjoy keeping up with you, your families, your photos, your posts. I have debated closing up my FB shop for a couple of years but have held back because of those little notes of uplift, the ease of keeping in touch, and the opportunities to share with others any positive encouragement I might have as well. 

If you don't already have my contact info, here it is--If you need to find me/be in touch, I will definitely respond to emails, texts, & phone calls!

sharalea@gmail.com      (if you don't have my # and want it, just shoot me an email!)

And don't forget the blogs :)

www.sharalea.blogspot.com  is where I do weekly Thankful posts, & extra writing, and the family blog which I will be spending some of my previously used FB time to keep up to date (since it is like a family journal for me!) www.tellmesomethingsweet.blogspot.com 

Please find me there!

~Shara