We Do It All For The Samples

Our (loud) dishwasher is a'swishing,
the kids are finally done with all the bedtime requests
(I need to tell you something...I need some more water...I need to go to the bathroom again...)
and Mr. H is catching up with his mother (and they love to get riled up over politics).

I scoot back in the chair at the round white table and I think about the day--from the morning rushing around (and curling Miss N's hair), to the busy-ness of the Church day (and Miss A refusing to go to nursery--what!?), to the afternoon getting home rush (and Mr N's gleefully choosing our late lunch eats), to the evening walk (and Mr J's creative observations of the shapes of the fall tinted trees), to the dinner chatter (and Mr. H's jokes that keeps everyone in giggles).

And I feel so tired.

And I feel so grateful for the little moments.

Figuring out the balance and dance of getting through the daily ev.ery.thing. feels like one big, special, ridiculously exhausting event--peppered with the most savory tasty morsels. Like the samples at Costco.

Which we all love the most.
Right?

So we'll go to bed feeling worn out from all of it...and we'll do it again in the morning, from the morning rush to the bedtime blusters. Because, those tasty morsels of sweet connecting with the ones we cherish the most--they are always worth it.




11.06.2016


Every day in November!  NaBloPoMo: National Blog Posting Month. Write a post on your blog every day in November. After a really massive break in my blogging, this will be the 4th year (not in a row, clearly), I've decided to tackle this challenge & enjoy the opportunity to switch to writing mode. I  have actually been looking forward to this for awhile--because I really do enjoy writing and don't make time to do it enough! Want to join me? Leave your blog link in the comments so I can follow you too! Or not. Does anyone follow blogs anymore? 

So Good

Sometimes

The moments

Feel

So

Darn

Good

Babywearing Miss A at Wild Rumpus Children's Bookstore, Minneapolis 02/17/16

Going To Bed {Sunday 11.10.13}

Energy blaster (tonight's choice: running in circles)
Flirt with Mr. H (while the kids run, giggling, in circles)
Scripture stories (tonight: Book of Mormon-Alma is on a mission)
Songs (Christmas hymns accompanied by Mom...simplified hymnbook style)
Prayer (J's turn-prayed for his teacher, Sis. S, who wasn't at Church today)
Thankful list (write it down every day this month!)
Teeth brushing (new kids toothpaste: excitement)
Drink of water (one cup, all share)
Miss N down (easy peasy, she has her soothing left thumb)
{1 down}
Potty J
Potty N (wipe needed)
More water requests (denied)
Fix a night light bulb (Daddy to the rescue!)
Tucked in
{2 down}
Lights out
Another water request (denied)
Yelling from the room "N has something that belongs to me!!"
Silence (sweetness)
Yelling from the room "N is not ...oh...nevermind!"
Silence (ahhhh)
Yelling from the room "N don't do....blah blahblah...trust me...ahhhh!" "J! I won't I won't!"
Mumbling from the bunk beds 
Parents snack (reward for getting it done in less than an hour-oranges)
More bunk bed mumbles
Both boys exit their room "May I have my penguin now?" "Can I have my snake?"
(denied--show us how you can be quiet in bed first)
N smells Dad's freshly cut orange "I 'mell lemon. I want a lemon."
Back in the boys room, lights off (again)
{The 2 aren't really 'down' but they're in their room...that counts?}
Squawking from the room...letting it go.

Have a great night. A good sleep.

Or? If you are parents of littles...

a simple "good luck" will do

{as hilariously true-to-life suggested in this comedian's routine about the things that become things when you have children--HERE--I apologize in advance for a couple of unedited words}

Update: 1 hour after this was posted, we've had 3 more out-of-bed discussions and 1 transfer of J to our room until N falls asleep so J can go back into the boys room. They're both (finally) asleep now. Finally.




Every day in November!  NaBloPoMo: National Blog Posting Month. Write a post on your blog every day in November. For the 3rd year, I've decided to tackle this challenge & enjoy the opportunity to switch to writing mode. Want to join me? Leave your blog link in the comments so I can follow you too! 

"I Just Saw A Fly"--An excerpt from my afternoon experience {Also-my conflicted heart}

{From my afternoon journal-as-I-experience}

August 28, 2013 Wednesday

4:18pm Jackson & Nathan are doing a dexterity craft--placing oatmeal flakes along a line with glue (to make a star)--Jackson is showing Nathan how to place them, what to do with extra glue on your finger (spread on paper), and how to spread the glue carefully. They are pouring their oats slowly on a plate and using them from there. Jackson says “don’t hold the glue...when I need some more, put it back”.

As they are crafting, I take a few photos. Jackson says “I’m doing a great job!” and I affirm it. Nathan says “me too!” I say yes you too! Jackson exclaims that raw oatmeal is delicious too! Nathan tries some and continues to nibble while Jackson makes good progress. Jackson asks me to come look, I do and compliment him. Nathan said “I not doing a good job. I eating it.” I tell him his star looks great and to keep going. Jackson follows up with an affirming “you’re doing an awesome job, Nathan.”

They keep working and Jackson says--“I dreamed I was in a huge car wreck. And the light went in a big circle up to the sky. So we drove our car into a truck. We didn’t get a wreck. Does wrecks hurt when they get on your car? When they come inside? A lightning wreck? We were like “there’s a wreck!” (whisper voice) and I walked around the corner and said “Hi there” to the man talking to someone else.”

My heart is pounding. My eyes are wide, trying to soak in the view of their little hands and focused faces. My ears take in every grunt of concentrated effort and sigh of trying-again. I am blessed to experience this natural learning/discovering/sharing environment AT HOME TOGETHER. Jackson is diligent in following the star lines perfectly, but has learned also how to praise his little brother (even if it isn’t perfect). He schools him “no more glue until your line is done...ok...that’s enough...keep going”. His tutelage is well received. “Now look a-mine star, Mom!” “We need moe!”

J interjects: “I just saw a fly. I didn’t want him to land on the glue and get stuck forever. I don’t want to have a sad bug. Do you want to have a sad bug in the world?”

THIS.

THIS is why I am aching to send my five year old to school all day (8:30am-4pm) I will miss THIS.

TRULY, I am so glad to have an accessible Montessori option (read: charter public/further read: free). It’s tiny doors, little “works” and child-centered environments make my heart sing. The trained ‘guides’ with their soft voices and involved, encouraging interaction will have far-reaching effects in the children’s learning, responses, and expansion of learning. I have been convinced of the benefits of this kind of education. Child-guided. Positive reinforced. Tactile-activity centered. One-on-one moments.

BUT.

They can never love them like I do.

And I can DO this thing (I think?). Our home is the original Montessori, right? In a way. In many ways. I don't have all the working mats or mini-glass cups or peg boards. I do have a drive to teach, enrich, inspire, and follow my children's lead through discoveries and academic/social/spiritual/all-things learning.

This is my struggle. I have been working through it for the last 6 months or so since we found out his acceptance to the Montessori school (and also registered him at a regular public as well--just to keep my options open). I read and researched. I questioned and pondered. I formed opinions of my own.

My heart is conflicted. THIS is our environment. THESE are our works. THOSE are my babies and our ecosystem of familial fun and learning is the most joyous experience in my life thus far. Must I give it up now?

Update on the oat project--”Mom! My star is done! I will carry it carefully to dry. Let’s do another one!” Yes, yes--let’s!

30 minutes later--still munching on the craft in between making his straight lines: "Does paleontologists bring food when they are doing a really hard work job?"

P.S. Today was day 1 of the 3 "phase in" 2-hour days at Montessori school. Official first start day is September 3rd (6 days from now). This is J as we left today (clementine in hand). Notice the small door--all the Montessori stuff is geared toward their small size...adorable! He told me all about the "working mats" (he learned the special way to fold them and that you do not put your feet or body on them, only 'works'), the pet fish, pet bird, pet tarantula, & pet dragon (lizard). 

Reflecting On My Day

At the end of a busy day

it's still Monday?, I ask myself as I notice I already devoured the Toblerone deliciousness that I bought to last me all week

I love to sit down and think about the things accomplished, goals met, to-do's I was able to cross off, lessons learned, make a new mental list of to-do's, chastise myself for what I did NOT do, resolve to do better, and record a few lines of it all in my journal if I'm not too tired.

Mama bear & cubs                                     {June 2013}

Today started about 8:30 with the boys running in together requesting their oatmeal breakfast. I encouraged them to take advantage of the last two bananas while I took a few minutes to push the grog out of my brain and then we were up and running (anyone who knows me, knows I am not a morning person and do not do well with jumping out of bed as soon as I wake up).

We did breakfast, bricks, coloring, clothes, soap, teeth, towels, pbs kids, scanning the bunny ears for a non-pixelated version for pbs kids, laundry in, laundry out, clean clothes picked out of the clean laundry piles (you would not believe the mountain of clean laundry on our guest bed right this very moment), sent some emails, made a call or two, cleaned up from breakfast, printed a shopping list/weekly schedule, sent a text, put someone in time out, hopped in the shower (behind schedule, as usual), found word world on hulu, cut up some apples, discussed changing the world with a friend, got the princess up & fed & dressed, everyone out the door (finally!) to run some errands (my friend too!), first stop, second stop, back home, unloading, ice cream sandwiches melting, discussing dinosaurs, kids play outside, honkity honk honk their horns, Miss N down for nap, neighbor comes over & asks my kids names (more than 5x during her visit), my friend hugs & leaves, get the mail, instagram a photo of J with his first birthday card for his big 5, back inside to whip up a dinner (plus a box to share), kid play in mud, I play in creamy enchiladas, kids in the tub after muddy play, I label all the dishes & wake up the sleeping babe, shoes back on, out the door, delivery & chat with a new friend, stop at a lake for photos to turn in for a class, realize I left my memory card in my Mac, really!? decide to just stay & let kids play at the park, listen to amusing conversations between Mr. J and the rest, watch Miss N's glee as she climbs all by herself, take note of Mr. N's resilience and defensive stance, meet a fellow park family, share cookies & milestones, load 'em up again, home, unload, back in the tub, drinks, teeth, stories, scriptures, prayers, cuddles, pillows, hugs, lights out, laundry movin', dishes washin', de-humidifier hummin'...the motion slows and it's just me and my thoughts.

I tried to form a picture of what I was feeling (to share on the ultimate feeling-sharing place in all of the world--facebook, of course --*rolls eyes at self*) and this is what I ended up with :

"From the first awakening squeaks to the last nighttime pleas for 'just one more minute'--a mother's roller-coaster style work is full of happy, heartwarming ups and mundane, messy downs. (And those words don't even begin to truly capture it) Every day we get on, buckle up, and ride again--convinced that the brilliant views we enjoy at the tops of the ups far outweigh the shaking, loud, rumbling chaos of the lows. 



When my house is still and quiet (laundry rumbling, dishwasher swirling, house put back together again), I step off the roller coaster and I review my day's journey from a much calmer vantage point. The fantastic ups feel brighter and the frantic downs seem less dramatic; in those memory catching moments, my heart swells with gratitude for the chance to ride along."

Mama moments. Shoes on.                         {June 2013}

A Top 10 List (divided)

Because I am exhausted today 

and will be getting up earlier than usual tomorrow...

Let me share with you a nice little top 10 from today

Top 5 crazy moments:

-Miss N's scream after she smashed her tiny fingers in a drawer (hazard of her new curiosity)

-J's crying after little boy N "dropped" his sippy cup on J's head (intentional or no? undecided)

-all 3 kids with diarrhea (2 in diapers. enough said)

-the Christmas Thanksgiving tree almost toppling over after two little boys ran circles around the thing (will it last another 24 hours?)

-little boy N throwing his corn kernals in the air like confetti during dinnertime (note to self: smaller portions for that one)

Top 5 awesome moments:

-J asking "Mommy, whenever I ask if you can give me a hug, will you always say yes?"  Me: "Always."

-Playing peek-a-boo with Miss N while little boy N wrestles on my back

-Carrying J around "like a monkey" as we clean up toys (for the 3rd & last time of the day)

-discussing things we are Thankful for and J adding "I'm thankful for pbs kids!"

-hearing J say to N "hey let's work together to figure this out!"

5+5=10

There you have it.

Boa noite.

Every day in November!  NaBloPoMo: National Blog Posting Month. Write a post on your blog every day in November. Since last year didn't kill me, I've decided to do it again this year. 

Do you want to join me? 

By Thursday...

The other day I was talking to a friend who was frustrated that her Mr. was out of town for a few days. She started to explain some of her concerns and then she stopped quickly and backtracked, "I'm sorry--look who I'm talking to! Your husband is gone ALL the time! I can't imagine...and I can't complain to YOU of all people!"

I have had similar conversations several times over the last couple of years since Mr. H took on a more frequent travel position with his company. Each time, a friend or acquaintance adjusts her tone when she remembers what my schedule is like. And each time, I stop her before she can go too far. 

I thank her for her validation (yes, it is hard!) but I assure her that it doesn't matter how frequent my Mr. is gone--her feelings of hardship flying solo should not be discounted! It is not easy. I feel like we (as women/sisters) can build each other up by sharing sympathies of the hard things together!

People ask me all the time "how do you do it?"

I usually laugh and say 

"well, wait until Thursday and I'll be twitching". 

Truth.

Mr. H's current position requires him to travel for all of his assigned areas. There is no local office to which he reports for work. On home weeks, he works in our home office.*  He is a senior safety consultant and he flies as far west as Spokane, WA (they just took Seattle off of his docket), as far east as Milwaukee, WI, and as far south as St. Louis, MO. He covers portions of 15 states and has the largest geographical travel area within his team of consultants.

In addition to the current travel schedule (which typically includes 2 weeks--Mon thru Thurs-- away every month), we've lived in three different states for his job (over the past 3 1/2 years). It sounds crazy to analyze it this way but really--it's a job. And with this economy, well...it's a job!

And it's a great job. Mr. H loves the adventure of travel, especially flying (did you know that he once had a private pilot license?). He loves seeing new cities, meeting new people, and the perk of not having the same desk to go to every single day (which he says he would not like). His boss is far away in Florida and the meetings are over the phone. He doesn't see the same people every day and he is the one who makes his schedule. It is very freeing for him.

His schedule is also freeing for me. You see...even though there are days that are hard (just like anyone else--some that are very bad no good horrible days), long, and exhausting...there is also something fun about being the queen of the castle when I'm on my own. I have things cleaned/organized/put away my way (don't get me wrong, Mr. H is excellent at all of the above, but we still have our different styles, right?), my three monkeys & I do our thing, and I do things differently...have friends over in the evenings, watch shows the Mr. would roll his eyes at, cruise pinterest, etc...where otherwise we would (yay! wonderfully!) be spending the time together.

I don't know how long we'll have this kind of schedule...for now, it works, and we work it out. I do know that I value a Mr. that really enjoys his work. Also, when he is home--he is HOME. This was not the case when he had a more localized position with various clients. He would work all day and then come home and still have hours of paperwork to do. He did a lot of weekend work those days--I hated it! These days, fabulously...he is almost always home on Fridays and always home on the weekends.

I do know that his home days are cherished. The kids rally around him and he rallies them! When Miss N was a newborn and was colicky (shudder), it was wonderful that Mr. H would go and be gone and come home totally rested and ready to attack the weekend so I could rest (otherwise, we'd both just be tired & grumpy!). It really was a blessing for us. We love to find on a map where Daddy is and every time the kids see an airplane they wave--imagining Daddy is on that very plane.

We have to work a little harder to have a routine around a schedule like this. We have to work a little harder to stay connected on parenting. We have to work a little harder to schedule our important To Do's (I make sure to have his schedule up-to-date so I only schedule visiting teaching, dr appointments, meetings, etc. when he's home). We have to work a little harder to love each other when we don't see eye to eye (that first day home often has a mini-"discussion" as we try to work back into working together). We have to work a little harder to stay in sync as a couple. 

We do have to work a little harder, but there are great 

freeing elements & much for which we are grateful. 

I think the balance is a challenge for anyone, 

and I validate that with yes it is dang hard! 

Like I said...

by Thursday...you might just see me twitching.

Every day in November!  NaBloPoMo: National Blog Posting Month. Write a post on your blog every day in November. Since last year didn't kill me, I've decided to do it again this year. Do you want to join me? My brother will be writing daily overHERE and my sis-in-law's posts will be found HERE. 

*I'll save that for another post--the truth about working from home :)

Life: All of the above

Life is just crazy, isn't it?

Some craziness just happens. 

Some craziness we bring on ourselves

by our own lack of experience, pre-planning, attention to detail...

or all of the above.

I will gladly (sheepishly?) share a few fairly recent examples 

of such self-inflicted craziness:

-going to Costco on a Saturday
-going to IKEA on Kids-Eat-Free-Tuesday
-giving a child a bowl of strawberries sans bib
-going the downtown route during rush hour
-owning non-washable markers (and forgetting to put them in the toppest drawers)
-misplacing brand new house keys (and not looking in the only place they are hiding)
-calling a locksmith without double checking background (& getting scammed)
-leaving a car window down on a cloudy day (clouds turn into...!)
-unknowingly plugging a drain that should never, ever, ever be plugged (I'm talking to you, Augustbasementflood)
-wearing a black top while carrying a super snotty child (always shows the goop)
-wearing long shiny earrings while babywearing (never a good choice)
-wearing new shoes on a family walk
-giving a 2 year old (limited hand-eye coordination) the dust pan emptying job (he still loves it ...but boy is it crazy!)
-giving a 4 year old (limited reasoning) the feed your sister job (imagine: mounds of cheerios instead of a few on her tray)
-throwing little boys' jeans in the wash without emptying pockets
-procrastinating...anything
-allowing Halloween candy when you're trying to keep your diet sugar-free

Maybe you have also experienced a bit of crazy

in your daily adventures.

All of the above?

Every day in November!  NaBloPoMo: National Blog Posting Month. Write a post on your blog every day in November. Since last year didn't kill me, I've decided to do it again this year. Do you want to join me? My brother will be writing daily overHERE and my sis-in-law's posts will be found HERE.

Just as...

Just as N seems to be feeling better (he's had a rough run for the last few days--runny nose, unhappy disposition, etc--teething related, I believe)...J starts coughing and my throat starts to throb.


Just as we get to the car after going to three different stops--post office, Dollar Tree, & Target--yesterday afternoon...I realize my baby has no socks on (where, oh where did he pull them off?).


Just as I snuggle back into my warm sheets and piles o' pillows after an early morning potty break...I hear cries of fear downstairs (J had a bad dream, spent the last couple of hours rocking/trying to sleep beside him).


Just as I feel like I've got things figured out as a Mom of a 3 year old...the emotion dial is turned up a notch (or two) and I'm left trying figuring out new negotiations and ways to work through the daily roller coaster.


Just as I get on the phone with Mr. H...my phone battery dies.


Just as I think "we've got plenty of time"...I experience a nice little wave of contractions (no worries, just a few hours and they've stopped)


Just as 


Just as I walk away from the kitchen to finish my last NaBloPoMo post, I hear from the kitchen: "Moooooo-ooooooom! I spilled my hot choooooooclaaaaaaate" 


Just as I think "I'm so glad tomorrow is the last day for NaBloPoMo"--I realize--TODAY is the last day, tomorrow will be Thankful Thursday and then I can take a nice little blogging break!


Just as I think "I can take a nice little blogging break"...I realize how behind I am for the November posts on the family blog (what we've been up to, monthly stats for boys, pregnancy update, maternity shoot pics...)


Just as I pause to make my To Do list for the rest of the quiet, only-one-kid-awake part of my morning...I hear the little one crying in his crib...

The lesson here?

Make plans, have hopes & enjoy expectations.

BUT buckle up.

Just as you do...something is likely to change.

Late By 12 minutes...Friday's post

It's 12:12am

I FORGOT ABOUT NABLOPOMO today!!

*gasp*

Ok...it has been a busy, beautiful, 

wonderfully fulfilling week--

We're talking:

-garage organization

-sleeping in

-hair cuts

-list making

-thankful thoughts & sharing

-TURKEY!! and the rest

-friends

-family fun

-not many photos taken

-Christmas shopping (NOT black Friday shopping)

-a COMPLETE room re-do (love!) including our first purchased couch 

-meeting the doulas who will assist in the birth of our daughter

-a 1 hour prenatal massage

-37 1/2 week OB appointment + hospital tour (water birth, anyone?)

-brownie-strawberry-banana trifle

-de-cluttering

-winterizing

-holiday decorating

...*sigh*...

It's been amazing to have the Mr. home 

for an entire week.

I have loved every second. 

Will miss him next week but looking forward to several weeks of him being HERE when baby girl arrives!

How's your week been??